Provel is a scourge on the food landscape. Let me just be clear about how I feel from the beginning. My travel books and this website are provel-free zones, a place where good people with good taste can be confident that the restaurants I recommend will not inflict upon them any provel. At least until now.
Last week I ate lunch at Iron Barley in St. Louis, one of my favorite restaurants in the area. They can handle a piece of meat better than a high-priced hooker. I usually go for dinner, when I’m ready to indulge in a succulent fillet of smoked salmon that melts in your mouth or a moist and smoky pork loin chop.
I was in the mood for something lighter for lunch, but I still wanted a nice piece of smoked meat, so I asked about their sandwiches. I was nearly speechless when my server mentioned provel cheese was used on some of their sandwiches. Provel at Iron Barley? The restaurant that has received national acclaim for their food panders to local distaste by serving provel?
I’ve been on a provel boycott for a while. I’m serious about this. Not only do I avoid consuming that abomination of a food product, but I refuse to patronize any restaurant that serves it, which rules out most of the Italian restaurants in St. Louis.
Right after I moved to St. Louis in 1988, I naively ordered a pizza from Imo’s, the local pizza chain most responsible for perpetuating this fraud on St. Louis. When I opened the box and looked at what they had just delivered to me, I thought someone had mistakenly put slices of Kraft American cheese on my pizza. The color was about right but the flavor was actually less appealing than those individually wrapped slices of processed cheese-like substance.
A little background. If you’re not from St. Louis, you’ve probably never heard of provel or eaten it. Consider yourself blessed. Provel is a St. Louis invention, a processed cheese product that supposedly combines swiss, cheddar, and provolone. It was developed because someone in St. Louis thought mozzarella and provolone didn’t melt quite right, and they wanted a cheese that melted on a pizza more predictably and consistently. The development of provel therefore is another case where style trumps substance: its melting properties were more important than flavor.
The appearance of provel shouldn’t be a surprise, I suppose. It was concocted just after World War II, at a time when America was smitten with convenience and technology. Food was one of the main targets, so we went wild for TV dinners and Mickey D’s for the ease and how, well, how modern it all felt. Flavor and quality? Heck, just give me quick and gimmicky. Provel was the perfect food product for the post-war era.
I could almost tolerate living in a world with provel if it was confined to life as a pizza topping, but folks around here lacked the sense to keep it in its place. No, many restaurants use provel on baked pasta dishes and will even spoil a perfectly good salad by topping it with provel ropes. You know good people have lost their minds when they take a product created for its melting properties and use it in it unmelted state as a salad topping when there are dozens of other cheese options that actually have good flavor.
If you grew up in St. Louis you love the stuff, but it’s kinda like you don’t know better, like if you grew up eating dirt because your parents called it pudding, and you kept a sentimental attachment to eating dirt into adulthood even though you’ve probably figured out that dirt is not pudding.
I wasn’t raised on dirt, so every time the subject of provel comes up in conversation St. Louisans look at me like I’m some kind of freak when I say I hate provel. While it is true that I am a freak, I pity them for not being able to recognize that dirt is dirt and what they’re eating is a marketing gimmick tinged with nostalgia from a time when they were too young to know they were eating dirt.
I still refuse to fall for that pretense, but my lunch at Iron Barley has reminded me that my rule about never patronizing any restaurant that serves provel may be a bit too rigid. I’ll still avoid the Italian restaurants in town that serve provel—that culinary choice is merely a marker for many other terrible culinary decisions—but I’ll still go to Iron Barley. I will just have to warn folks to beware of the provel-polluted sandwiches, unless you’re a St. Louis native, in which case, your mama’s pudding just may be the perfect way to finish the meal.
© Dean Klinkenberg, 2011
Lol. Exactly. Found blog entry (and posted a link to it) after I wanted to follow up on a Facebook post for many of my friends headed to a conference in St. Louis this week: “Check out ‘The Hill’ if you want some mama’s-kitchen-style old school Italian food. But if you decide to try St. Louis-style pizza, make sure to ask whether it’s made with real cheese or “provel,” an abominable processed cheese product that is, inexplicably, revered by St. Louisans. (It’s been around for 70 or 80 years, and it’s still only found in the St. Louis market. That should tell you something.)”
Grew up with Farottos pizza. Always provel on their pizzas. Had one too many pieces of provel.
Provel no more. And proud of being PROVEL-LESS.
I completely agree with the blogger…while I am not a food snob, I have learned in my 20 years in St. Louis that restaurants that serve provel cheese on salads, etc., are the same ones that serve Italian (pronounced EYEtalian) red sauce that Richard Irvine would immediately yank off the menu for being a puddle of canned tomato sauce, and other such atrocities.
Real cheese, real garlic, real bread…it isn’t hard to make GOOD food in St. Louis!
Imo’s pizza is disgusting. I’ll give you that. But it isn’t the fault of provel. I grew up in St Louis and was never a big fan of cheese, so you certainly can’t say I was raised to like provel. I moved away several years ago, and when I came back for a visit about a month ago I tried the pizza at Cecil Whittaker’s Pizzeria. That place is fantastic, even with it’s liberal use of provel. Or maybe that is because of it?
I also disagree. I’m not a St. Louis native, I’m far from it, I’ve actually grown up in Ohio. However, when my fiance introduced me to Imo’s pizza (he’s a Missouri native), I loved it, and it is because of the provel cheese. I don’t think it has anything to do with where you grow up or what kind of foods you were raised eating.
Being that you are so appalled by processed foods, I can’t wait to see pics of your fridge and pantry of all completely organic, unprocessed, natural food. All locally sourced, I’m sure. I hope you don’t eat chicken that is not free range, or beef that is not grass fed or eat anything but organic eggs. Cuz the processing that THAT stuff goes through is 1000 times worse than any cheese. I promise you.
But you know, when you get off your high horse, be sure to make a culturally insensitive blog entry about how Hawaiians are stupid for liking Spam.
Meanwhile I will take your cue and boycott things I think are stupid.
Starting with your blog.
I am most certainly glad the food critics that people actually listen to or whose opinions matter either feel differently express themselves more rationally. Boycotting all restaurant just because they serve a kind of cheese you don’t like? Ludacris and it clearly exposes you as unfit to be a commentator. So no restaurants that serve provel? How can you possibly give a complete commentary on the food culture of St. Louis without ever even stepping foot in an (non-chain) Italian restaurant? It pains me greatly to burst your bubble in the spread of that wonderful cheese. I have personally purchased it in, Chicago, Indianapolis, Denver, Dallas, Nashville and Knoxville Tennessee. I have anecdotal evidence of five more cities.
I disagree with the article but the thing I don’t get is he complains about provel being processed food but isn’t all cheese processed…I never have seen a cheese tree or cheese growing in the ground like potatoes or carrots. Don’t you have to take milk and other ingredients and process it into a cheese of some form. I love all cheese except for blue cheese. I rarely met a cheese I have not liked including provel. I am not a foodie but any means mainly because I do not enjoy steak or most beef. But I personally feel all foods fall into three categories…foods that taste better with chocolate, foods that taste better with cheese and foods that taste better with cheese. And personally if you wish to not eat at places that serve provel and you snub the Hill restaurants but continue to eat at Iron Barley (which is not the best restaurant ever) then it is a bit hypocritical. I don’t like steak and do not understand why people pay so much for something that does not taste that good but I don’t think no one else in the world should eat it just because I dislike it. You article does have a bit of an arrogant, know it all attitude. And you must love processed foods if you love Ted Drewes…that is not exactly a natural food…although very delicious.
I think the worst part about this is that because you hate something everyone should. Its rather arrogant of you and other like you that post about food ,or anything else for that matter, tell others what they will like. How do you know what somebody else would enjoy? Since you could never really know what others may like you should just keep it to yourself because of statments like this some people who would have enjoyed provel may not try it. If you don’t like something then don’t eat it. I think everyone should try things weather I like them or not. I have been lucky enough to have had some pretty odd things that is somebody would have told me that it tastest like dirt I would not have tried it. I can bet that my taste buds are a bit more sophisticated then yours and would never tell people they should not try something or eat something. I can say that because of the places I have been and things I have eaten.
If it’s any consolation, I don’t get paid much. I wonder if you are saying that, as a professional chef, you’d gladly bypass cheeses like provolone, buffalo mozzeralla, or Parmigiano Reggiano to put provel on your customers’ salads? Even in restaurants outside of St. Louis?
I have eaten provel in other forms and admit that the unmelted form is less offensive, but I’m still not a fan, especially with so many fine cheeses to pick from. And I LOVE Ted Drewes. Last time I checked, their concretes are provel-free.
At least we agree on Imo’s.
I moved to a small town in Kansas about 10 yrs ago. My children where small when we moved here but they have been indoctronated into the cult of Provel cheese .When we manage to get back to St.Louis,provel ranks up there with a trip to White Castle.Provel tastes like home.
I am a professional chef and I love Provel. It’s one of the things I miss most. That silky smooth buttery taste, with just the slightest hint of smoke. It’s almost better than sex. Uncooked, it has the velvety texture of a very stiff cream cheese, and a wonderfully intensified buttery taste. How can you NOT like it? And being IN St. Louis too, that’s blasphemy! That’s like going to Texas and proclaiming to be a vegetarian. I Guess Ted Drewes sucks too? I almost can’t believe you get paid for your opinion. I say almost, because I completely understand the deep seeded roots of your hatred. I mean, if someone kicked you in the family jewels the first time you tried foie gras, that wouldn’t be a very fond memory either. I am from St. Louis, and I say this with absolute confidence. IMO’S SUCKS, and is by far the worst example of St. Louis style pizza out there. I wouldn’t buy an Imo’s pie to piss on it. And if that was your first experience with Provel, then I can understand where this hatred comes from. All I can say is that I implore you to give Provel another chance. Try it on a sandwich, try it on a salad, spend some time on the hill and order a real St. louis pizza from a real restaurant, and I think that even YOU will find the culinary value in the creamy greatness that is Provel cheese.
“But, I suppose it does pair well with Bud Lite, Wonder bread, and Justin Bieber.”
oh snap my crack rock
Not being much of a foodie or cone suer of anything, I would have to agree with the post. Not being a native St. Louis citizen, I was not indoctrinated into the cult of Provel, and therefore cant see why it is so great. I also think it looks like American singles on a pizza.
Thanks for speaking up and telling the emporer about his new clothes.
What do you mean it “isn’t really food, anyway”? A processed cheese is a food product made from other cheeses and sometimes other unfermented dairy ingredients, plus emulsifiers, extra salt, food colorings, or whey. Just because it’s processed doesn’t mean it’s not food. I just think you’re going overboard with this, dude. To not like it is one thing, but to not patronize restaurants that use it (esp. since they’re simply catering to the local food culture by serving it) and to tell others they shouldn’t eat it is flat-out wrong.
And I do! It’s like eating flavorless plastic that gets stuck to your teeth. Blech!
Ah, you miss the point. I love exploring local food and local food traditions, but just because it’s a local tradition doesn’t automatically make it good. It still has to taste good (like Creole seasoning). There’s probably a reason that provel hasn’t caught on anywhere else: it tastes nasty and isn’t really food, anyway. But, I suppose it does pair well with Bud Lite, Wonder bread, and Justin Bieber.
Wow, I can’t disagree with your opinion of provel more! I have a lifelong love affair with that wonderful, gooey stuff. In fact, I take great pride in letting others know about it, too. It’s odd that you’d have such a hangup on it, especially since it’s such a big part of St. Louis’ local food culture and has been for decades. Usually more progressive-minded people are more open minded and tolerant of unique, regionally based cuisine. This is sort of like moving to New Orleans and telling everyone how much you hate creole seasoning.