Punta Cancun

We just got back from a very relaxing four days and three nights in Cancun. That’s in Mexico, in case you weren’t sure. Even if you’ve been there, you may not have realized that you were in Mexico. You need about as much Spanish as you would to visit that Mexican restaurant down the street from your house. Ah, Cancun, the sunny paradise where tourists shoot video of the lunch buffet, lose all sense of body modesty, and where New Yorkers can still find something to bitch about. You can eat at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville, drink at the Hard Rock Café, and shop at Wal-Mart.

We didn’t do any of those things. In fact, we stayed at an all-inclusive resort and barely left the grounds. This was a new thing for us, staying at an all-inclusive resort. I’ve never really had the desire. Since 1999, John and I have traveled independently around 30 countries. I love that style of travel and expect to be doing more of it in 2008. But, 2007 was a very busy year, and I wanted to go somewhere warm and easy, someplace I could take a book and read on the beach, get back some of my summer tan. Cancun was the perfect choice.

Riu Cancun Resort

So, here’s the 411 on the trip. We booked a deal through FunJet Vacations after being told by a friend (thanks, Kelly!) about a two day sale in progress. For $500/person, we got: round trip airfare from St. Louis to Cancun, airport transfers, a spacious room with an ocean view, all meals, and as much alcohol as we dared to consume. The same package for the middle of January would cost $850/person. I think we got a pretty good deal.

We stayed at the 15 story Riu Cancun, an expansive resort near Punta Cancun built in 2003 that has a beautiful beach, three swimming pools, and two outdoor whirlpools. It seems to attract a very diverse, international crowd of singles, couples, and families with children.

While we were checking in Wednesday morning, we were offered beer. That might sound like heaven to some of my friends, but the poor server seemed confused when we politely declined. Regardless, we got the message about what to expect from the next few days. Just in case we had any doubts, when we got to our room, we found it stocked with four liters of alcohol – Kamel Brandy, Marino Rum, Vodka Blal, and Jose Cuervo Especial – certainly not top end but so what? The fridge was stocked with bottled water, sodas, and Corona. Geez, I barely had to stumble out of bed to get a buzz. Remember, all of this booze was included in the price of the package.

The resort has four restaurants, all of which rely on buffets to varying degrees and two of which are open only for dinner. Frankly, the food varied little between each mess hall, er, restaurant. The best thing I can say about the food is that it was plentiful. That may be too harsh. The food was always edible, sometimes it was even very good. You could wander over to the salad bar and fill up on veggies, cheese, and deli meats. Once you were done at that station, you could hit the fried foods section and grab a burger and fries. If you are feeling bold, escabeche might be just what you need. It is a mix of very hot pickled peppers and veggies – just watch out for the habaneras. I sure wish I had. I bit one habanera in half at our first meal and went running in search of bread and dairy products to quench the fire in my mouth. I have never in my life tasted anything that hot, and I’ve eaten some damn hot food in my day. Still hungry after the escabeche? Check out the entrée station, then visit the bread table. Still not sated? What a pig. Don’t fret. The dessert bar has cakes, cheesecake, ice cream, and sherbet.

If you are done making a spectacle of yourself in the buffet lines, it must be time to play the lush. The resort has seven bars, three of which are outside. One of them is called “La Fiesta” and has a stage for the kind of corny tourist shows you’ve come to love and expect from a popular tourist resort. On Friday night, we sat through the Broadway Revue, a show in which actors dance while lip-syncing songs from popular musicals. It’s a lot like a drag show without the drag. Apparently kids are quite welcome in the bars. We saw plenty of them running around. I didn’t notice anyone getting carded at the bars, but it is also true that I didn’t see any seven year olds running around with shots of tequila, either. Maybe next time.

If you’re into the Seven Deadly Sins – and who isn’t, really – Cancun is your kinda town. With little effort, you can knock off four of them – gluttony, lust, sloth, and vanity. Try a bit harder and envy can be yours, too. Sin and sun for a song. Not a bad deal.

© Dean Klinkenberg, 2007