I meant to post this last week, but a nasty stomach flu knocked me out of action for several days. On to the blog…
On my last visit to La Crosse (Wisconsin), I went to a bar called Players with a couple of long-time friends. Players is neither flashy nor unpleasant, sort of a working class gay bar. During the three hours that we were there, three separate groups of straight women came in, possibly to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day—who doesn’t go to their neighborhood gay bar to feel a little Irish? Most of the women were wearing glow necklaces and earrings that flashed on and off, apparel that no self-respecting gay man would ever wear to a gay bar, even for St. Patrick’s Day.
I find this spectacle confusing and rather unsettling, honestly. After all, I remember when gay bars were so stigmatized that even gay men were ashamed to go there. There was usually no sign, no windows, you entered through the back door (no matter how many ways I tried to write that point it sounded dirty), and the interior was smoky and dimly lit.
What a contrast. The bar today has windows, a rainbow sticker near the bar’s name, and a front door. It’s still dimly lit and smoky, but I guess most bars are. But, unlike the old days, gay men aren’t rushing through the shadows to duck inside and packs of straight women think nothing of going there to drink and dance. I wonder, though: how many of those straight women have gay friends? How many of them oppose marriage rights for same-sex couples? Is the gay bar just a place for them to feel safe, free from the advances of drunk straight men or does their presence signal a deeper acceptance of the validity of the lives of gay men and women? I hope it’s more of the latter, but when I see a large group come in together, drink together, and dance together, it looks like it’s more about getting away from straight guys than embracing gay people.
Today’s Bad Decision: Picking Washington for the Final Four. What was I thinking??
© Dean Klinkenberg, 2009
