So here I go again. I’m back on the road to experience a new stretch of the Mississippi River, this time the northern reaches where the river hits the road as it emerges from Lake Itasca. I expect to be up here all summer, as I get to know the river from the Headwaters through the Twin Cities. If you’re in the neighborhood, give me a ring, and we’ll hang out.
I’ve been to the Twin Cities before, but northern Minnesota is something of a mystery to me. I’m not a total novice, but, I’m bringing these impressions with me:
• There are lots of mosquitoes—enough to pick up a toddler and carry her across the border into Ontario. I have some previous experience with these mosquitoes. I camped near Brainerd once in high school. I think it was near Brainerd. The mosquitoes never stopped attacking me, not even at night. I would bury myself in my sleeping bag, which caused me to overheat, then poke my head out for fresh air only to be swarmed by the little bloodsuckers. Worst night of my life. Ever. I’ll be back in Brainerd sometime this summer, looking for revenge.
• I think there are deer flies, too, and they may be worse than the mosquitoes. I know they’re bigger.
• There are big forests with big trees up here but not many old big trees.
• And lakes—many, many lakes; at least a million.
• Because of the lake thing, fishing is more popular than pizza. (I just found out that Grand Rapids, a city of about 7,800 people, has 13 pizza places, or one pizza joint for every 600 residents. That same ratio would translate into 5,000 pizza places for St. Louis.)
• I saw an episode of Bizarre Foods where Andrew Zimmern toured a lutefisk factory then made funny faces as he tried to pretend he didn’t mind eating it.
• I vaguely remember hearing about epic labor/management battles in the Iron Range. Maybe they were epic because all the blood had been drained from their brains by the mosquitoes.
• Norwegians live up here, I hear. Nice, sensible people who somehow made the unfathomable decision to settle in this inhospitable environment.
That’s what I know right now. I’ve got a lot to learn.
As I start this trip, I consider myself very lucky, not just because I have the opportunity to spend three months exploring northern Minnesota but also because I’m lucky enough to be staying in a house on a lake just outside of Grand Rapids. A new friend extended me an amazing opportunity to stay in this beautiful house instead of the crappy motel room I was going to stay in.
Life is good.
Bad Decision of the Day: Leaving my car door open in a mosquito zone. (Yes, more about mosquitoes.) I’ve only been here a couple of days and haven’t noticed any mosquitoes, yet, maybe because it’s been so cool. That changed this afternoon when I took a little drive south of Grand Rapids along the river and stopped to check out a small campground. I left the car door open while I ran up to read a couple of signs and quickly found myself swarmed by a large bunch of large mosquitoes. By the time I realized my error, the little buggers had taken over my car and were about to put it in gear. I spent the next 10 minutes swatting and flailing and swatting, trying to make enough of a dent in their numbers so I could drive away without endangering other drivers with my swatting and flailing. I eventually got the upper hand, but—good God—what a mess.
© Dean Klinkenberg, 2011